I get asked this question constantly. How can you do long distance?
Usually followed by something like this:
You can’t be away from someone that long and still love them. You must not love him that much. Long distance never works.
Yes, long distance usually doesn’t work. But between Kyle and I, it does. You don’t know our relationship, no one really does except us. And for those that are closest to us, they understand that if anyone will make it work… it would be us. And yes, I DO love him and I STILL love him and I MISS him every day.
I would be miserable later on if I didn’t have a chance to ‘find’ myself. Why not be selfish in order to become a better person? I have learned more about myself in the past 3 years than I have my whole life. You really see your true nature when you are completely out of your comfort zone and you can concentrate on yourself.
We have the rest of our lives to spend together. What is a few years apart? It’s hard to grow as an individual when you always have the other someone around. I think it is crucial to be able to stand on your own two feet. And if I had Kyle to always lean on, I would be too dependent on him.
What we do as a couple to make things work:
1. Skype is your best friend. We Skype or viber everyday. Always making sure that our time difference is something we can work with.
2. Take time to visit. I have been back to Seattle 4 times since I came to Japan and he has come to Japan twice. We look forward to the next time we see each other. And count down the days.
3. Just because we are apart doesn’t mean everything changes. Keep this in mind. Out of sight out of mind…ya…no.
4. Trust them. You have to have complete trust in the other person to have it work out. Without trust you are doomed. I think this is one of the main reason for things not working out for most couples.
5. Don’t let others that doubt your relationship get to you. They probably don’t know you and will never meet the one your waiting for. So who are they to say how insignificant your relationship is.
6. Trust yourself. You are strong enough to keep yourself from other “temptations.” Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Sure you can blame the alcohol but ultimately it was your choice…no one else’s. If you cheat, it just means that you weren’t a strong enough person for them.
7. Talk about the future. Make goals for the two of you. What do you want to do when you get together again in the same city. Make a plan…kind of. This is also communication, be sure the two of you are on the same page.
So next time someone asks me about my relationship, I’ll just refer them to my blog.
Cheers + happy traveling.
Photo credit to Kinsey Meredith Photography.